Just Dior,

2012-01-20T15:35:00.003+08:00

It's been a whole year since i last logged in here to read my old postings. I forgotten how emo and sad i was back then, with roller coaster emotions all the time. I guessed i've learn alot from my pass happenings. Well here's the good news! I'm so much happier now! I accepted Jesus Christ!! went for water baptism last week 14th jan 2012 and now im a brand new person! forgiven for all my sins and i can rest my heart and soul on him. People asked why so sudden.. actually i've always wanted to go but due to some reasons somethings always holding me back.

above all these...

I've started working in the beginning of the year 2011 till now i'm still in the same company.. like woo hoo!!! longest of all lOl. And I'm currently dating my childhood friend too.. lol how amazing.. we use to be school mates, played hide and seek, catching, cycle and roller blade together back in primary school. Well as we all know every relationships have their own ups and downs.. feelings fade... unhappiness in the relationship.. no time for each other etc... but i'm glad that through out all hardships we still hold on to one another and he loves and cherish faithfully and can always talk and see things through. Blessed.

After all the happenings in my pass, the sadness, the emo and passings. I realize that most important thing in life is happiness and good health obviously money too lol (being realistic). Set myself a goal.. and work towards it. And since the start of this blog all those things in my wish list? Well I've cleard a few of them already!!!

*Nice Smooth Skin - well i'm currently happy with my skin
*Sg Driver License - PASSED!
*Heal In Time - The lord healed me!!!
*Freaking Loads Of $$$ Till I Lost Count - It's never ending lOL
*Marry A Good Man ;p - On the way soon! i hope (cross fingers)
*Nice And Comfortable Home - Got one with S.O
*White Beemer Convertible - eh i think this is a anytime thing if S.0 wans to get or not lol!

BLESSED!!!!

I'll try upkeep this happy good will sprite of mine and never shall i be depress until i have to go back mountE for my pills! WOOHOO! PRAISE THE LORD!

2011-01-26T12:50:00.001+08:00

I may be down, but i'll get up again.

A new start and beginning.

2010-10-26T16:36:00.003+08:00

Weep 4 hours last night... it hurt so bad that i just cant take it anymore! the pain is... am numb now. Thoughts of giving up on life and everything went into mine.... but then again it's silly.. why do i weep for someone so much when that person doesn't even care and has moved on. Well, the next bf of mine will defiantly be better. I'll make sure i'll not weep like this anymore I gotta be strong! yea talk is easy heh heh...

Anyhow... i've seen a light at the end of the dark tunnel i've always been lost in. All the best to me then.

A weeks time will be mums 1st yr death anniversary.... time some how pass me by so quickly again.

2010-10-09T00:19:00.003+08:00

Hurray~!!!! passed my tp for the 1st time!!! hur hur hur now all i got to do is earn more money n get miself a vroom....

Well.. we ain't tgt anymore... sep 9th midnite.. the 1st month was hard.... and then i just gave up. Just hate the fact that he ignored me... i hated feeling so lost and unwanted its like what the hell... i gave and did everything i could but still he chose to ignore... i cant be waiting forever after all those years of waiting, i cant be holding back the pass 6yrs plus and be so miserable waiting... all i asked for in the past was for him to love and quickly marry me over cos i hate the fact that it was long distance... plus the ignore... i totally just lost hope... i cant take it anymore~!

Struggled alot.. but what don kill you makes you stronger... trying hard to forget am almost there i hope... if only SOMEONE pls KNOCK me out and the moment im awake i'll just forget bout everything.

But for all the heartace and tears i'll be back on my feet again! I don wanna be sucha loser for the rest of my life.... thinking that my prince charming will come take me away.. it all seems bullshit to me now..

P.s I don need a ring around my finger.

Whatever will be will be

2010-08-24T01:57:00.002+08:00

Three cheers to the life im having right now. Stuck in between yet again. I don know which route to take. If only mum was around, would be alot easier, could ask for advice.

Having a blog back then was just for fun, Snap lotsa pictures and showing off what you have,had and went, but now it's actually helping me say what i can't say. Is it PMS? but there's a hurting feeling... weird mood swings.. things i wanna say but don know how to put it.. don know how to open my mouth it feels likes it's been glued.

If only things were way more easy...

2010-08-12T19:52:00.001+08:00

My life's like a roller coaster ride. It brings me all the way up and drops me down in less then a second.

FML.

2010-07-15T16:42:00.002+08:00

So it has been a few months since i last posted something. I've quited my mad rush job since april and have been living life to the fullest trying to enjoy and be happy all i can. S.O came during the early months of may and we went phuket together. It was so FUN!! and romantic, the view i had from my hotel room was breathe taking.. we went to the beach to chill... went phi phi islands to snorkel, and! i finally watch thaiger show ahaha at less i know whats it all about.

Now my current days are spent doing the house chores, exercise 2 3 times a week, shopping, tea, dinner with the girls. I seriously love it! Some people wont understand the privilege of doing so. Goodness did i not mention charmaine and me are no longer friends. 8 yrs down the drain. oh well whatever shall be then.

I've also started taking my driving lessons yay! haha learn the laws....

So far so good every things going great! living life to the fullest and i wont regret the choices i make. As time and distance has prove i still love S.O very very much and it's the purest thing ever just like when i was 16 only wanted to just be together. ( Bonus part is that i get what i want too lol) Some people wont get and understand why i want to be with him... his so controlsive and possessive and has given me a ridiculous curfew of 10,45pm. But hey~ i'm happy that's all that really matters right? So what if i din had a curfew.. i was not happy back then. I'd rather be now. No matter what people say or what harsh words they put, nothings gonna make me change my mind and feelings of wanting to be together with S.O (it's been proven)

This year has really pass quickly.. i still think of mom(duh), had dreams of her. But lucky for my happiness i don hurt that bad anymore. I think she would be happy seeing me happy now. I miss her.

2010-03-06T22:08:00.003+08:00

It's been 4 months 3 days... seriously I'm struggling everyday. Just became officially S. I might look ok but i so am not... I'm really all alone now. I feel the pain... as in like yea telling myself everyday that I'm really all alone now in this big wide world... that's the pain that I'm feeling.. I'm in such pain that the official S part din hurt me at all... in another hand... i feel relief too i should be happier. I really wanna be happy but where can i find that happiness?

My routine is like work, home, work, and then home again.. I clean on Fridays so that Sat and Sun will be free time for me to lepak... but then i really hate being alone cause it's killing me softly.

I know i look happy all the time.. but then again it all comes back to square one when I'm home.

This feeling just sucks.. feeling emo every night.. how long more can i live on this way?

About the breaking up part.... well it's like staying home alone is killing me i obviously wanna go out and hang out with friends once in a while... but he said no and din allow me to. I told him that i could not take it anymore... just wanna leave everything here and fly over to be with him also cannot... wanna fly over for 1 2 day just to see him also cannot... talking bout marriage since like forever and it's dragged.. from end of last year to early this year to Aug next year... then what? when it's Aug next year he'll drag again?? and he expects me to be sitting around waiting for him forever?? work,home,work,home??? like OH MY GOD~! I'm already so depress and all alone yet he still wants me to have no life.. i just can not take it anymore... these 6 years has been long and suffering... i don't wanna go on like this.

When mum was away i really needed him here but he couldn't be.. when i was ill... he was not here to care for me... and he expects me to listen to him when his not even here... he expects me to listen to him cause his rich...

Alright... so i went out late that day and got home at 1am.. that's his reason for breaking up with me... cause he doesn't like me going out late and he can not take it... and when i do go out late he'll get angry and then argue and quarrel with me... and puts the blame on me cause i went out late.... while my reason was of all of the above mentioned..

Ok... now that it's all said and done..... Why the fuck am i still feeling so empty?

P.S Don say i never try....

2010-01-14T13:42:00.002+08:00

It's been 2 months 11 days since mummy has left us. Trying to live as per normal, life goes on. But i think I've been trying too hard.. and it's going no where. I feel like I've been driving 150km for the pass two months but the car isn't going anywhere. I just wanna stop everything that I'm doing now, take a deep breath and look around me. It's like is she really gone? still feels like she's here just overseas or somewhere and will be back soon.

I'm tired.. i feel like shutting down. But everyone around me says it's good to be busy, it keeps your mind off things. They just don understand me. I'm not like that. This is not the way how i deal with my feelings. I feel like it's the other way round. It's making me sick and more depress.

I'm the only kid here~~!! helo! and i don relate with dad. I seriously feel lost. I'm doing the things that i don wanna do. And if i stop doing it i also wont know what am i gonna do. I'm seriously lost.

Can someone help me??~! I feel like crying all the time but tears wont flow. And if they flow people will just say I'm mad. I'm tired of showing a smiley face all the time. I'm physically, mentally and emotionally tired. I don know what to do.
I'm just so tired. I don know.. i seriously don know...

When will this sad feeling of grief stop? If so how am i gonna move on. Don think bout it but how the fuck can i stop thinking bout it when I'm still breathing.

I think i need a fresh start. A new atmosphere, meet new faces etc.. but will that help?

I'm like a fallen leaf from a freshly grown tree.

2009-11-08T21:53:00.002+08:00

Mummy has pass away Tue morning 03.11.09 she's now in good hands in heaven. RIP.

I miss her so so much .

Mummy i love u!

2009-09-11T10:38:00.002+08:00

It's been long since i last posted something here. Been rather busy and tired lately. Started working again and mum admitted hospital on the 20th of Aug. Till today, she's still there. Don know when she'll be discharge. I'm so totally drained.

Look at the bright side, starting today till thursday it's my birthday week~! hubby should be arriving on monday night(that's wat he told me). I'm feeling so exited it's been ages since i last went out on a date!!! it's as if we just started dating again hehe.

Gonna get back to work again. adios

2009-07-10T01:14:00.002+08:00

Just got back from KL this evening again................... tired tired tired ... i'll just stop blogging for the time being until when i have the engery to write again.

2009-06-22T03:27:00.002+08:00

Like seriously im so upset now. I don know what to think or do. All i know is to cry. I'm such a useless person. So tired of everything. I give up.

2009-05-31T12:00:00.003+08:00

Im finally back to singapore!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Well it's been rather boring in KL.. no car! no internet! no ppl i know besides my cousins! LOl

Anyhow... my days spent there were basically eating and eating and doing noting most of the time. My aunt and cousins and everyones been feeding me and my mum with lots of food.. I've also become the part time nanny of my cousins little girl haha~

Will be going back KL soon im not sure when and after that off to find my lao gong~!!! i will clock the most flights this year la... just half the year and i've travel so much already.. ;p

2009-05-14T21:57:00.001+08:00

Still in KL ate so many many yummy meal everyday!! omg so much to blog and pictures to post... so many things to tell you peeps wait up for me to get back!! I'll be back at the end of the month!

2009-05-04T22:28:00.001+08:00

IM IN KL NOW! had a make over with mum today... lotsa pics taken too but i can't post any up. Don even know when i'm going back sg... prob around 2 to 3 weeks time sigh~ i miss my lil zonda!!!

2009-04-30T22:11:00.001+08:00

More spoof something to make me laugh!

Twilight???

Batman???

2009-04-27T02:17:00.003+08:00

Why WHY why~!!!??????????? the doctors can't do anything~!!!!! Mummy cant do her OP and kimo don work for her! Her illness is too complicated and serious she said she rather not do anything and let god and fate decide when is her last. Enjoy everyday till her last. Everyday is a bonus and special day for me now with her around. WHY WHY WHY!! haiz sad........... hearts broken.

I cant sleep every night without tearing. Don know how long more will she be next to me. HAIZ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'll be left alone.. I don wan mummy to leave me!!

Brought mummy out today to town walk walk shopping.. she bought me a wallet and wanted to get me a coach bag how do u spell it? i don know... its 685 bucks la! i told her we use that money go enjoy better cause i could always get that bag anytime. Had dinner at mushroom Pot and headed plaza sing to watch the knowing. Mummy ask me to spend more time with her and don work for the time being also.. haiz so stress, sad... and all jumble up.. I go out can suddenly cry out of the blue my hearts always in pain.... haiz haiz haiz haiz haiz...

MUMMY I LOVE YOU!!

2009-04-20T18:04:00.004+08:00

High school musical?

The not so real version.

The real version

2009-04-20T17:50:00.002+08:00

Found this funny vid with Tpain on a boat song DARN funny.

The not so real thing.

The Real Version

2009-04-19T14:43:00.002+08:00

I've been spending alot of time with G's family lately. Went Vivo on friday to have dinner at Sakai sushi.. we ate till like hundred plus doller! imagine how much we ate when a plate of sushi is only at 1 doller to 5 doller haha! His little nephew is so adorable! Only coming four years old and can tell you how old the sun is, where is the biggest ocean in the world etc..

Headed to east coast park and had picnic there yesterday, with his 2 sisters,bro in law, niece and the little one. Played with the sand... build him sand castles before we went to cycle. Aftermath we just walked over to the out door hawker area to have our dinner. Went back to G's sis place chatted awhile and off we went home.. damn tiring taking care of a little energizer battery lol! Keep playing and moving non-stop. I can't imagine how mine will be like next time hehe!

2009-04-12T23:33:00.004+08:00

Oh gosh! What's wrong with me these days?~!!!! One plate of rice is not enough for me~! A bowl of noodle wont full me~!! I must eat at less 2 bowls of noodle or 2 plate of rice to get me satisfied at each meal!

Well this AFTERNOON when i got up at 3pm i had one BIG fish cake and a plate of CHAR SIEW rice. Din full me but it was fine.. brought my baby to the park while i bladed... he ran the whole park la... chasing me from behind.. got home to shower him and myself.... and went j8 to meet G for dinner. He was scolding me la cause i was late.... and he was hungry... well... so was i. Went to the food court and had beef noodle but that din full me.. I had pineapple and chicken teriyaki from takashimaya and and and 3 breads from breadtalk~!!!!

I seriously don know whats freaking wrong with me... seems like my stomach has grown bigger. Argh now i must try to control my food intake. Then again~ maybe NOT~! I LIKE FOOD!!! ahhahaha!! silly me~

Oh oh before i forget... I HAD ANOTHER HAIR CUT YESTERDAY with G too~! my hair is like even more short now la OMG~! i don know what to say... must as well shave all haha!

2009-04-08T12:45:00.008+08:00

Alright!!! just got home not long ago again i went to bugis this time with G and i did some shopping.... had dinner and headed home.... got myself a pair of flip flops, four shirts and a pair of jeans!!! muahahahhahahahahahahahaha!! i also ate till so full now i have trouble fitting into them lol!

More pics from yester-year updated.

.........................................................................................................

After walking around bugis village we had dinner and headed down to TCC. HEHE~ cele wify birthday yesterday without her knowing i wip out a cake lighted with candle and we all sang her birthday song.. Did lots of chatting and of cos gossiping... the mat nini turn up also without me and darl knowing.. trying to surprise us isit?~!

Matnini,darl and me wanted to bring this light home..

2009-04-07T14:40:00.003+08:00

Been busy... busy eating so much and sleeping so much plus meeting people and not forgetting shopping~! This is the life.... this is just the life i want forever haha!! ok cut the crap. Internets been down lately... changing it to singtel instead of pac net, it will be up tml i hope.

Went Sentosa on Sunday with G and his family to the history of Singapore museum.. it was raining cats and dogs la luckily it rain and stop rain and stop. Wanted to watch the musical fountain but it was raining... They went cycling while G and I went strolling along the beach. Walked pass Cafe Del Mar, Siloso Beach Resort and all the way to the end la lol... noting better to do. Once out of Sentosa we Headed down to bukit timah to have dinner there... I still love that place i use to live at haizzz... so many sweet and sour memories.. If i could.. i'd wanna move back there!! but rent is a killer.

Meeting wify and darl later for shopping,dinner and chilling... It's been a month plus since i last saw darl and 2 weeks for wify i wonder how are they... haha 1st ultimate question i'm gonna ask them is DID I PUT ON WEIGHT? haha! update later..

2009-04-03T16:31:00.002+08:00

Went back to Peirce secondary school for a visit yesterday... gosh! it's been six years since i last went back. Time sure pass by fast.. Met mr chan for lunch and saw many many of my teachers. Not bad not bad all still remember me haha even the drink store lady and her mum remembers me... they can only say.. your from the dance CCA last time right~!!?? haha i remember you haha...

The school has just been renovated and it's so nice now la... got their own rugby field, own indoor court, own out door net ball court, own out door basketball court, the hall has been made... there's a bigger dance studio and a speech and drama studio.. their art and craft room now so big.... also got gym but it suck lol and and their theater room.. and a few class rooms with air-con.... sigh~ how i wish i was back in secondary school! lol Seems like theres a own place for each CCA to be conducted now so good!!!! compare to my time we had none... haha

Mr bala the stupid admin is still so stuck up as ever never change at all after all these years still black face everyday haha! Miss lee slim down so much prettier already..! mr chan also.. look never change at all still look the same since i left! haha to think that all our teacher age gap now and ours not much different can click.. last time in school see teachers like so scary haha!

Got lots of update bout my ex class mates as well not bad not bad hehe~ was happy to see my old class rooms too! Hapy to see everyone again and bringing back old school memory... ;p

The City Night Scenes

2009-03-31T22:43:00.008+08:00

I'm kinda into city night scenes photography lately it's simply breath taking and beautiful isn't it?

NYDC

Sydney

Brisbane

Paris

Singapore

Auckland (I miss my second home!!)

2009-03-30T16:16:00.002+08:00

For this pass week i've been basically EATING AND SLEEPING ALL DAY!!! not forgetting going out and shopping and and supper too~! yummm.... this is the life~

Zonda has been my sleeping companion this pass week too without him by my side something is missing haha.... his fur keeps me warm. Days just pass me by and by so quickly and gosh it's already coming one week since i left money minded Indians haha~ learned this line from darling.

Went geylang for supper on Sat night.. we walked basically the whole area from head to toe. HAHA i felt like a little girl again going to the zoo seeing so many foreign animals. I'm so shock to see the chickens paying the pimps protection money just like that... and also uncles with very young viet haha also people asking how much how much.. not forgetting people selling contra ban cigg out in the open... they just throw all the cigg in a plastic bag. Oh OH OH! and the most amazing weirdest thing i see people selling was the VIGRA pills haha also out in the open!! all in a big red plastic bag.. there were blue pills, pills that are in a container and lots of condom.. GOSH i saw so many interesting things in one night haha!

A few great news to share.. auntie jen's son is getting married end of the year.. mum ask me if i wanna go with her to kalantan or not... zzzzzzzzz.. yes i know we use to play when we were a kid but traveling there so far................................................................ lol ok im just lazy to go la. And and and my beloved cousin might get married this year too!!! either this year or next haha~ so many joyful occasions.

2009-03-24T23:14:00.001+08:00

It hurts so badly that i started tearing unwillingly.. sigh~~~~

2009-03-23T20:20:00.002+08:00

Oh man~ brought my mum out Saturday!! haha went to AMK hub walked around, shop around... had Japanese food and i brought her to watch race to witch mountain!! haha yea mum's my new bf hahaha!! well I'm currently happy with my life right now so fine with anything... don feel that much depress already. I also choose to stop taking my pills.... only will eat them when it's SOS time.

Bought a pair of blades yesterday too!!!! OMG i'm so happy bout it now that i can get to sweat it all out the easy way instead of shaking for 1hour and sweat not much haha! Alright then i cant wait for wed to come when i can finally see darl again after like 2 3 weeks???~!!! ;p

2009-03-14T21:14:00.002+08:00

Im so fucking pissed with this company... well.. for those who knew i sent in my resignation letter 1st of feb.. but the fucking company is so unprofessional and all... i had a argument with the DIRECTOR,DIRECTOR'S WIFE and SUPERVISOR~! i was basically shooting them and telling them this and that all black and white proven they and theirs verbal talking... where's proof?~! HAH! Only those who were there and saw the drama and every word i said will approve with me.

Sorry CT poor you... i saw how shock and traumatize you were.. and wify~~~~ don be shock too this was just my 60 percent of volcano erupted.... and i wonder how lao she thinks... lol! I just can't wait for monday and see what this stupid company will do next. DON MESS WITH ME!~

2009-03-08T19:48:00.002+08:00

Woke up not long ago~ i've been sleeping the whole day today.... woke up in the morning for breakfast and off i went to sleep again until the afternoon and had lunch..... and off i went to sleep again till just awhile ago and i still feel like sleeping hahaha! define the word pig to me.

Had fun yesterday with wify and CT. Headed town after work to shop!!!! I got myself biotherm foundation, a black eye liner cause mine fell into the toilet bowl... and a slipper from cotton on haha! Everyone bought something.. the person who spent the most was wify la~ lol she and her perfume which smells like saloon smell to me and her Mac make ups haha~ CT also bought make up and shoe haha all basically spending money yesterday... there after we went cine to have subway for dinner before heading to mango at wisma and headed home...

We all had so much fun that's why we are gonna do it again tml!!!!!

2009-03-06T11:21:00.002+08:00

Was on MC yesterday... wanted to sleep the whole day long but then mum said she has to go for her radio and so i brought her to the hospital. Went chinatown to get some cheap shampoo etc and had lunch there after that. I din know that the old market now have so many ah lian shops on top la lol its like a mini bugis. There after i brought her to Paragon for cakes and tea over at bakerzin and went back bishan for foot masage. Hah~ enjoy life right if only everyday was like this... shopping and eating doing fun stuff.

Currently at office now feeling dizzy as usual. My medication giving me breakouts too so itchy!!! rashes on my face argh~

Im missing darl already tml's sat argh~!!!!!!!!!!! i wonder whats to come... hehe

2009-03-04T23:26:00.002+08:00

I'm so tired everyday~ feeling giddy and weak once i wake up every morning. All i wanna do is sleep the whole day. I don care bout anything. I can't even do my job properly now. Can't focus and the simple things seems so hard.

I haven't been feeling anything since last week and i finally felt something today~! darl u know what i ment right my FOOD~! ahaha I finally felt anger today. Have been so numb and emotionless since 23/2/09.

I needa small getaway from this place asap~!

Diving trip this May!!!

2009-03-01T15:59:00.003+08:00

I shall start with something i did today.

Got up this morning feeling so fresh, had my breakfast and pop my medication and off i brought my baby for a walk. Once i got home i showered and got ready to bring my mum out. We went junction 8 as it's the nearest area to shop.

Brought her to subway and had lunch there after that we made an appointment for foot massage and took her to my hair stylish and had her hair cut by him cause she likes my new hairstyle lol. I forgot to mention Mill brought me to chop off my hair cause he said i look like a sick person with long hair. Weirdly i went along with it even though i so din wanna cut off my long hair. My mood was so weird that day.. i basically din care or bother bout anything... everything was ok ok ok to me.. like an empty shell... must be my pills.. anyway.. yeah~ did lots of shopping and i'm glad that mum is happy.. on the way home while waiting for the bus.. it started to rain cats and dogs... i just flag a cabby out of no where and hop onto it though mum was like IT'S OK IT'S OK IT'S STILL GONNA BE SO WET! lol! well i still did brought us home dry and safely.

Talking bout last week. Mill brought me to see a psychiatrist over at mount E thought that i was alright but i started crying for 2 in a half hours once i got in there. It's been ages since i last cried this much.. obviously there's something very wrong with me now lol~! After seeing the doctor we headed to starbucks and got my usual caramel frap and chill for a while when my stomach became hungry... We headed to taka for sushi over at the carpark area there forgot wats the place name. There after he wanted to get me a laptop for valentine day but i said i don wan one cause i don need it.. what i really needed was a MP3 and so.... we went looking for a pink colour mp3 lol! I look like a mad person that day it was so obvious cause i couldn't care less bout anything. Everything was ok... alright up to you... i din even bother to explain bout anything to anyone or continue a conversation. My head was light yet heavy at the same time looked like i was floating while walking from store to store... that was when he asked me to chop off my hair hahaha~! i was like ok lor.... anything.. without thinking. When we got to the saloon i just sat there and kept quite and let him do the talking bout how to cut my hair. When we got back home my dad became crazy again... this time i couldn control my emotions and let it all out... luckily mill was there when i needed him most. He was there to comfort me and told me everything will be alright and calm me down... I'm just so upset and depress...

Yesterday was also the last and final day for darling to be over at JE for the weekend.. i'll miss her so much.. we had KFC and had the last final working moment.

She took this picture of us for memory haha~! so cute of her.

2009-02-15T10:32:00.008+08:00

Updated

Heard a bad news just awhile ago. My childhood friend has jump down yesterday afternoon at 4.30pm. Yes on valentine day. She has got no family problems and had everything. Due to some R/S she did the most courageous thing. I salute you.

My dear friend~ May you rest in peace.

............................................................................................................
So it was valentine's day yesterday.... yup i had fun~ not a date.. but i met up with jav at shaws. The day started out slow... looking for Starbucks but everywhere was full house so we headed to paragons bakerzin instead. Not a bad choice after all haha we enjoyed the cakes and tea not forgetting people watching too. There was this good looking guy who looks like japanese at the counter, we both kept guessing which country his from and yes~ i open my mouth and asked.... and we were both wrong... his from malaysia hahaha~!

After tea we walked around cause he wanted to get a pair of jeans or some thingy. See so many people with lotsa gifts and flowers we both cant stop laughing at the funny things people do on valentine day. Walk here and there we ended up at far east. Both of us felt so new to town la so many new shops around lol! Jav was like asking me am i a pink person and like duh~! i obviously am.. so.... he picked out a pink dress and ask me to try on haha~ damn funny the last shop was the joke of the day la cause i took this really revealing dress and try on for fun and he was like DIOR~! if u were to wear that this coming friday i'll be very busy being your bodyguard for the night hahaha~!

Oh well yes we did had losta fun =]

2009-02-13T19:36:00.002+08:00

Alrite~ this is for all the lonely/single/dateless ppl~ something damn freaking funny for v-day.

Credits to partner~

2009-02-06T21:46:00.005+08:00

Well i was thinking..................

How come he din even ask me why or say no to the break up. I all along knew he was just waiting for me to do something wrong. But the point is... i din do something wrong. Was going out late for a movie something wrong? He was just waiting for me to say the magic word cause he don't wanna say it so people will think that his gf is so stupid enough to have left him and i'll be the bad one.

I din even mention the word break. I just said i can not continue like this. My meaning was could he just give me some freedom? My meaning was could he change a little and not be like this? But he said anything don continue don continue la~! like damn.. it's so simple and easy to just end it.

In the early stages i did feel like his being with me because we've been together for so long and is use to me doing everything for him. His like dragging and dragging and dragging if it reaches the end then good la if not it's alright.. anytime can cut the line off. I keep telling myself yes we can make it to the finish line. But the line has now been broken.

I'm so tired now but then again i can't sleep. But lucky jav is chatting with me to keep my mind busy if not i'll sink deeper in thoughts.

Thank you darling for being there for me~ thank you vani for also being there for me. And~~ thank you jav for being there for me too and keep reminding me that i can find someone better out there.

I know i love u but i have to move on to make me feel better and for letting u go makes me sick but i have to. Because of u im totally lost when i had cried enuf for u :(

2009-02-05T20:36:00.002+08:00

OH my GOD~! i can breath again~!!!!!!! AIR~! I'm breathing more air in now~! LOl.. ok i'm nuts.

2009-02-03T20:08:00.002+08:00

Some stranger called me yesterday while i was half asleep. It turned out to be his ex gf. HAH~! of all the freaking people in the world it just got to be her.

Me: Hello~?

Her: Hi i'm jasline here. Could you meet me now to pass mengs 1,2carat ring and things?

Me: HUH?~ i'm sleeping now nt free. if he wans it he could get it from me himself.

Her: Heh~ It's kinda impossible now right~(in a sarcastic way) his not in singapore.

Me: Well wait till he gets back then.

*Hangs up*

WTF..... i'm just like WTF~!!! LOL! what a joke.

Yea not long after he msg me saying if i don wanna pass it to his *friend* then he'd get it from me when his free. HAH~!
Seriously theres no hate between me and him. But now i start to feel a little hate. Cause it's damn freaking ridiculous~

Anyway yea~ i'm just glad that now i've got only me,myself and I to count on. Got to admit that i do feel a little lonely. I'm all alone in this world again. I only hurt this part.

No more looking back dior~!

2009-02-02T14:24:00.004+08:00

Welcome me to the singlehood.

Me: Where does our relationship stands?

Him: I CAN ONLY TELL U WORST. AND THAT ALL.

Me: Wat do u mean by worst?

Me: Define worst to me. U always angry then make ppl feel so upset.I don know how to continue like this.always the same thing happen happy only awhile then unhappy again.marry also gonna be same thing.better think twice.

Him: DONT CONTINUE ALSO CAN ANYTHING.

Me: u can blently say don continue Just like that? Hah! Like its so simple to u.Have or don have me also don matter.oh ya i forgot you got money can have any girl u wan.

Him: IT U WHO START TROUBLE FIRST. NOW COME AND BLAME ME. BLAME URSELF.

Him: ANYWAY I KNOW U WILL SAY IT MY FAULT. SO NO POINT QUARRELIUNG.

Me: I start wat trouble? I don wanna fault here and there. I just went out late. And u gave me cold feet.

Me: I don wanna continue like this. U love me or just are used to me? Don mix love,pity cos im poor and use together.

Him: ANYHTING LA DONT CONTINUE ALSO DONT LA. FOR ZONDA U LOOK AFTER LA. OR U ONE TO GIVE WHO UP TO U. TAKE CARE

Me: so wat u mean by this? Breaking off? I love zonda i will take good care of him.

Him: ALL THE MONEY LEFT OVER JUST KEEP AND TAKE GOOD CARE OF ZONDA IF PASS TO OTHER GIVE THE LEFT OVER MONEY FOR TAKE CARE OF HIM.

Me: I will take very good care of him don worry. So this is it then final. U take care.

Well yes to my surprise we din shout at each other. heh~ -.-' My hearts feeling the pain like a bee sting. Well after all these years there will be pain right? But i din even tear a little. Not a single tear~!!!!!! I guess i'm too numb. Too use to all this pain from him already. I guess i teared too much last time till it's all dried up. But yea it'll sure hurt. It's a normal human nature thingy. Oh well~ life still must go on. I wonder what will become of me in the future.

2009-02-01T21:05:00.007+08:00

This weekend was a blast~! at less to me. Really happy spending time with you people. Just met darling at Thomson with her hubby over at Starbucks Omg damn i thought he was 23-26 but hah~! 32. Yes! look younger then darling some more lol~ Chilled with laughter as usual. Not forgetting cam-whoring. Yes yes chilled awhile and we left about 7.40pm.

I din put them all up cause i look horrible in everyone of them lol!

I din knoe she was kissng me~! wah eat my tofu... LOL!

This was the notice board we did for the kids on sat. Everyone did chip in putting it up, darling was high on crayons also talk so many funny stuff that made me laugh non-stop.

Brought baby one round around the park this afternoon and showered him. Not long after i had very nice lunch. Emah cooked for us and it was like another reunion. Mum, emah, uncle, dad and his friend were also busy singing karaoke. Some kinda small party ayie~?

SO has still been cold towards me and i'm not hearing from him.. this is like the gazillion time already. There's a limit to everyone.

I don wanna live in fear and feeling so insecure all the time.

Let me hold you For the last time It's the last chance to feel again
But you broke me Now I can't feel anything
When I love you, It's so untrue I can't even convince myself
When I'm speaking, it's the voice of someone else

Oh it tears me up I try to hold on, but it hurts too much
I try to forgive, but it's not enough to make it all okay

You can't play on broken strings You can't feel anything that your heart don't want to feel
I can't tell you something that ain't real Oh the truth hurts
And lies worse
How can I give anymore
When I love you a little less than before

Oh what are we doing We are turning into dust
Playing house in the ruins of us
Running back through the fire When there's nothing left to save
It's like chasing the very last train when it's too late

Oh it tears me up I try to hold on, but it hurts too much
I try to forgive, but it's not enough to make it all okay
You can't play on broken strings You can't feel anything that your heart don't want to feel
I can't tell something that ain't real
Well the truth hurts, And lies worse
How can I give anymore When I love you a little less than before

But we're running through the fire When there's nothing left to save
It's like chasing the very last train When we both know it's too late (too late)

You can't play on broken strings You can't feel anything that your heart don't want to feel
I cant tell you something that ain't real
Well truth hurts, And lies worse
How can I give anymore When I love you a little less than before

Let me hold you for the last time It's the last chance to feel again

2009-01-30T23:11:00.003+08:00

I am really very tired. Panda eyes are all out but i just can't sleep. Blasting trance into my ears to lift my spirit up a little heh~

2009-01-28T19:17:00.011+08:00

Gosh~ once i've reached home from hospital this afternoon i totally fell asleep like a log after that. At less i did get some sleep. I can't remember when was the last time i had a afternoon nap. Was with mum for 5 hours at the hospital la~ haiz~ at less she looks alot better now nurses and doctors are all so nice to her. Everyones telling me that my mums so cheerful and everything will be fine etc etc...

I'm sitting here listening to this song---> currently playing now if you can hear it.(if you can't then pls press play and blast ur speakers!) It feels so dreamy and the lyrics totally suit me with the state of mind i'm having now.

SO has not spoken or sms me since new year eve night till now. This is so not him. He said he'll sms me when his free. But i know him well.. even if his really super busy he'll still sms me and update me where he is or what his doing everyday. Even if his card has no more money he will drive all the way to the store to get the card to reply me. Now its .......?????~~~!!!???.... I Seriously don know what's he up to. PMS worst then me over yet another really silly matter that isn't a matter at all. I always hate it when his doing this to me cause it leaves me wondering are we or are we not gonna continue. His like a switch, can on and off anytime. Like i always say. Just as i thought things were going great he have to make me upset again. Making me feel so worried of whats gonna come next between us. I'm afraid i'll go back to those days where late nights,drinking and smoking were part of my everyday life. Oh well i really wanna go out and let my hair down, keep rejecting ppl's invite i din realize it's been more than a year already..

I've got some questions in my mind, And definitely need some answers right now cause i got to know. Got all the pieces to the puzzle but cant seem to make it fit so I'm lost to be where to go.

Continue chillin with the songs~

Walking on a dream
How can I explain
Talking to myself
Will I see again

We are always running for the thrill of it thrill of it
Always pushing up the hill searching for the thrill of it
On and on and on we are calling out and out again
Never looking down I’m just in awe of what’s in front of me

Is it real now
When two people become one
I can feel it
When two people become one

Thought I’d never see
The love you found in me
Now it’s changing all the time
Living in a rhythm where the minutes working overtime

Catch me I’m falling down
Catch me I’m falling down

Don’t stop just keep going on
I’m your shoulder lean upon
So come on deliver from inside
All we got is tonight that is right till first light

2009-01-27T10:30:00.004+08:00

My darling was over at Je on sat. Suppose to be there full day but~ the goon last min transfer my darling to Jw and yea as usual we were pissed with them for always making last minute decisions.. but she's smart la went over to Jw but din wanna stay the whole day so she purposely left some impt documents over my side and called up the goon to tell her she needs to go back and collect it. As we were gonna go out after that it was a easy meeting place too lol! besides with me around.... Je isn't a dull boring depressing place to be at cause when there's no one i'll blast the music and do lotsa silly things to kill time lol~!

Went PS after that, walked around a little and had my favourite grill chicken and introduced it to darling and she was like saying the chili and all is very nice. I had to teach her how to enjoy it some more 1st, you put chicken and rice on your spoon and then you add lots of chili and open your mouth lol!

Headed over to TCC and had drinks there chilling/chatting then eera suddenly pop up from behind me thank god i din spit the tea out infront of darlings face haha.. but overall we did enjoy each others company~

Don know why i always look so tired now.

Got home not long ago~ really tired now but then i had great time today and fun with herbie and everyone as usual~ got to send my mum to the hospital tomorrow so i'm gonna go get ready to zzzz all the way now~ hah!

2009-01-22T16:25:00.002+08:00

Alright. I'm at office now. Feeling so bored and depress. I've got bills to pay my mums in hospital, house to clean. Just one word. Tired. Chinese new year is around the cornner somemore haiz. No mood~

I really hate being back here in singapore i feel the stress level is shooting up. I don know if i can handle this kind of depress feeling again. So many things weighing on my shoulders. If only i had a older brother.

No one to talk to when all i really need is a hug. Sigh~

Everything is about money! i hope i can get through this rough time soon. I got so many worries to worry about. I just wish everything to go away and be happy again for once.

2009-01-18T20:48:00.004+08:00

Alright~ 08/01/09 pics are up. Lazy to put them all up.

2009-01-16T22:11:00.003+08:00

I WISH AND I HOPE AND I PRAY FOR MUMMY TO CURE 101 PERCENT!!!!!!!!!!! AND EVERYTHING TO BE ALRIGHT!

2009-01-11T13:22:00.004+08:00

Had a blast that day with the gals~ went lucky plaza and had this Indonesian chicken thingy~ hehe it was my 1st time having it and it tasted good =] walked over to OG Starbucks to chill and gossip the whole night long. It was so fun/funny that i laughed the whole night the next day my cheeks still hurting.. lol.

Mum got admitted over at SGH cause her tumor toxin level damn high~! the doctors are giving her treatment and lots of check ups. Hope she gets well soon. I'm so worrying. Will go visit her later maybe herbie will go with me. If his feeling better with his flu.

I jump up automatically at 7.15am saying SHIT~! this morning lol. I forgot that today's sunday and theres no need to work. I thought that i was late lor haha how silly me. Went back to sleep till 10.45am and brought my baby to the park again.. it's the same routine every week la~ lol so tired now... still got so many cleaning to do haiz. Shall rest awhile and up load pics onces its ready!

2009-01-04T15:37:00.004+08:00

It's already 2009, time passed by so quickly. This is my first post of the year. Reading all my past years post damn~ yeah so emo and mushy! SO came to spend Christmas and new year with me and just left yesterday. I woke up at 4am and sent him to the airport for the morning flight, I directly went to work from there.

It's been almost a month since i last posted. Been really tired with the whole waking up so early in the morning thingy still. Kinda still not use to the early hours after all i use to be a night owl person. After work i'm sure to rush home to feed my baby. But when SO was here he'd help feed him first. Best thing bout my current new job is that the people there are really nice and fun to work along with excluding the supervisor haha! They are the nicest bunch of people i've ever work with so yea~ count my blessings ;p

Life seems so meaningless/boring now. I'm doing the same routine every god damn week of the day. Noting to do here. It's work, home, work, home. I wanna make more new friends!!! Female friends~! lol..

Gave my baby a hair cut this afternoon and took him to the park. Showered him and now i'm here resting listening to the radio. Kinda feeling emo again on a Sunday afternoon~ this always happen when i'm alone with the radio on esp when the song lets me think about my life. Think about my past, think about my future.. I kinda hate it but also love this weird emo feeling too. It lets me know of what or how it will be/feel when i'm really going to be all alone in this world. It gives me a lonely independent feeling. ok.. if your reading this i think you'd be thinking what the hell is lonely independent feeling lol~! I don know how to explain it here but if you wanna know then ask me in person.

I'm like so tired but don wanna waste my Sunday sleeping... so i'll go look for things to do haha~ anything CALL ME!

2008-12-08T03:06:00.005+08:00

It's 3.07am right now and i can't sleep. Teared a little while ago thanks to my missing heart. Things took a turn that day actually, while at the meeting to sign my appointment letter they got me the job i originally wanted hah! I'm like so fine with either one so it's really ok, at less the pay is a little more higher. I've been sleeping really late these days too emo emo emoing with the radio on listening to class95. I still kinda have to pinch myself abit to tell myself i'm really back in sg. The feeling is weird... i'm confuse with the feeling i'm having now. i guess i'm still not settled here or the feeling that i'm having now is the same feeling as i had back then at square one. 8 months ago i used to be this lonely emo girl in this room with the same light and radio on, and now it's still the same lonely emo girl in the same room with the same light and radio on. Feels like notings changed. Or maybe just a change in job, a new computer table, a drawer and things surrounding me like for example a new mall etc etc... oh oh not forgetting that my little zonda flew back here with me haha.

Talking bout zonda.. i brought him to the park yesterday to the dog run area... his so freaking afraid and is so anti-social. He kept sniffing around the place instead of playing with the other dogs. 4 chi huahua chase after him as they were trying to play. He got so frighten that he ran with his tail down and he trip and fell.. poor thing haha.. Walking half way home we had to run.... cause the rain suddenly poured down so heavily. He jumped into puddles of mud and water in the high grass area. I bet he was like so damn happy la. By the time we got home we both were so freaking WET.

And as in my previous post.. yes.... after years of waiting he finally said lets get married.. and this time it's the real thing. From 16,17,18,19,20,21 i wanna marry i wanna marry and now at 21 he finally said that magic word but i still got to wait till when i'm 23 hahaa! but at less it's final now! i don have to keep guessing when it will happen.

Oh~~ it's started raining now..

He told me that once it's finish building we will get married immediately but i don know when will that be, not more then 2 years he said.. but i guess i wanna do it not the rush rush way i'll take my time. After all, waiting for so many years i could just wait a little longer.

For now it's back to long distance again.. but he said he'll come visit me every 2months at less its better then don even know when we'll be able to see one another right? Also it's so much a shorter distance from his country to here. And in 2 weeks time he'll come for Christmas and count down!! haha hummm.. i want him here for our 5th ani and v day too.. auwwww............. I miss him so much now.. sigh oh well i think i'll go try to sleep.

Good Night.

2008-12-02T16:31:00.003+08:00

Yes i'm back to sillypore!!!!!! Omg can't help but felt irritated and angry once back here heh.. lots of so many unpleasant memories here. Anyway once we got back we started making lots of dim sum again la.... continue where we left back in NZ.

Lotsa stuff to write about but lazy... lol.. anyway things are going really well now i got a job that i've always wanted to have and SO and i are getting married in two years time! i'm so happy lor.. hahaha i don know what to say... i'm still shock.. haha I'M GETTING MARRIED!!!

2008-11-09T07:06:00.006+08:00

Brought zonda out for a walk in the park near our home yesterday.. was relaxing on the grass when i snap cute stuff.

A friend came to visit.

Another friend came to visit.

After i went home SO said that we're going to mao's place to make din sum haha! Ate so much argh!

2008-11-07T09:10:00.003+08:00

Sold the car this morning... bye bye~~~ doubt i'll be able to drive anymore in the future... no car.... cars are so expensive! It's a luxury to have one even if it's just a cherry QQ.

Sigh~ just yesterday i was saying that i was happy and now... sigh~ Why am i always so upset? always whenever i feel happy he'll say things again.... each time when he says that when he return to his country he'll find other girls, i'll start tearing. Two days in a roll already.. Words like go back cambodia then byebye you can go find singaporean guys etc etc... It may be or may not be a joke to him but to me... i don find it a joke at all. All it does is just break my heart.

It's really suffering.... i hate it each time when he says things. I can't stop him either. What shall i do? feel so unhappy for the rest of my life? love is love but then he always make me feel so miserable and unwanted. It's not because his background is rich that i wanna continue with him. He don't want to wait for family inheritance also instead, he wans to be a self-made. I'll always stand by him, support him and always have faith in him. I know he can make it. If i were to continue cause of his bank account then why were there so many break ups and patches. I seriously can not live without him la.

We just had a argument just now cause while i was browsing through blog shops last time i saved A leopard dress photo. I din buy it i just saved it. He then was asking me if i bought it, i said no. He din believed me and said i bluff when go back singapore if he see that dress in my cupboard means he'll go back cambodia find other girl. All these just for a 26 dollar dress. Am i so not important at all? anytime wan to leave me then leave me, wan me then come find me. I'm upset.

I should be happy being in a relationship, I should always feel love and wanted. But somehow i always feel so unwanted and unhappy. I think it's cause of his everyday shoutings,scoldings and words.. if only if he can stop. HOW HOW HOW? tell me how! will after marriage stop him from all these? I don know how to read a mans mind.. all i know is i'm always feeling alone. I seriously don feel secure at all.

Or am i just hopeless?

2008-11-06T06:05:00.014+08:00

SO bought 7 of us Korean VIP BBQ seafood last night... the price tag also so nice lol! the location was at the fish market building... i prefer the old place... so ulu now.

Woo hoo~ my seafood Platte~

Free flow of fresh oysters,prawns everything!

Some random pics i took...

love e car...

Like e big ad... lol!

Gucci and LV~

SO also bought 1kg of fresh pua/abalone la! Omg... total 12 big big big abalone... eat until i scared.. Nz abalone is black in colour..

We had mini steam boat awhile ago lol!

This is just 2 abalone sliced. And now we have 7 more!

I'm happy haha~ two of us facing each other eating our mini steamboat with arron kok love songs playing at the background. He took food for me, dip food for me, clean the abalone for me. So nice... it was a little romantic too haha at less to me. It was simple,cheap and good, excluding the abalone i mean. I can do this everyday with him man~ Now... all we need is a cuddle.. but his gone out leaving me waiting at home again =]

Diorie says I love u so much much much much~!!

2008-11-05T12:30:00.002+08:00

Argh! when when when when will he pop the question~!!!??!! sigh~ I so wanna get married la... already 5 years soon and still dragging.. i feel so stagnant... I don wanna live alone again!!!!!!!!!! argh argh i don wan long distance anymore! HAIZ!!!

2008-11-03T05:04:00.001+08:00

I'm going home.............. Singapore here i come in 15 days!!

2008-10-27T05:18:00.002+08:00

DO I NEED HELP FOR BINGE EATING?
Ask yourself the following questions. The more “yes” answers, the more likely it is that you have binge eating disorder.

Do you feel out of control when you’re eating? YES
Do you think about food all the time? YES
Do you eat in secret? NO
Do you eat until you feel sick? YES
Do you eat to escape from worries or to comfort yourself? YES
Do you feel disgusted or ashamed after eating? YES
Do you feel powerless to stop eating, even though you want to? YES YES

Behavioral symptoms of binge eating and compulsive overeating

Inability to stop eating or control what you’re eating YES
Rapidly eating large amounts of food YES
Eating even when you’re full YES YES YES
Hiding or stockpiling food to eat later in secret NO
Eating normally around others, but gorging when you’re alone NOT REALLY
Eating continuously throughout the day, with no planned mealtimes YES YES YES YES YES

Emotional symptoms of binge eating and compulsive overeating

Feeling tension that is only relieved by eating YES
Embarrassment over how much you’re eating NOT REALLY CAUSE I DON CARE JUST EAT
Feeling numb while bingeing—like you’re not really there or you’re on auto-pilot. YES
Never feeling satisfied, no matter how much you eat YES YES
Feeling guilty, disgusted, or depressed after overeating YES YES
Desperation to control weight and eating habits NOT REALLY I STILL EAT LIKE A PIG

Signs of Emotional Eating

Using food to:
fill a void in your life YES
feel better or cheer yourself up YES YES YES CHOCOLATES AND BISCUITS!!!
calm down or soothe your nerves YES
escape from problems NOT REALLY
cope with stress and worries YES YES
reward yourself OK LA I JUST EAT FOR NO REASON

Been feeling really depress for alot of reasons. I doubt he knows or can see. I feel the usual in-security,low self-esteem etc etc and hub always scold me everyday... his tone is so fierce so.. i don know how to say. I'm really feeling down. This relationship has got no romance anymore! I don have that melted heart feeling anymore! No more passionate kisses no more dates no more romance!! when i tell him i wan a little romance he says don want. The only good part is that he cooks for me very often now!! I'm planing to have picnic back in singapore botanica gardens and have candle light dinners to bring the romance back! I'm so depress.. i can only say i'm so very depress.

Eating alot is what i've been doing these days i can't seem to stop eating. I'm never feeling full. Once i've stop, i'll feel sick. Have weird cravings for chocolates and biscuits and sugar once i stop eating too, I'll dip my finger into the tub of sugar and just lick it off.. obviously i'm becoming fatter also argh! I've been eating so much and at such weird timings or non stop that i begain to notice there's something wrong with me, so i decided to check up on the internet and i found out that i really am SICK! Once i've eaten the 3rd spoon of rice the 4th 5th 6th has got no taste anymore... but i just eat and eat and eat.. I think i need help~! so.. HELP!!! ANYONE??~!!

2008-10-20T11:19:00.002+08:00

EEK! The kiwi guy opposite my room brings different woman home! hahaha Friday night got one lady look kinda old with wrinkle's on her face.. has long dyed center parting golden hair. When i opened the door i heard them laughing and him saying SHH! the lady sounded funny though like their doing ''something''. she stayed till yesterday afternoon lor.. how i know? cause when i came home i saw her smoking at the balcony. She tiao me some more. I think should be prostitute lor why i guess this way is cause... after that lady left he brought another women to the room that night. Same typ of hair but not dyed golden.. and look alot younger. Their also like Vietnamese! lol how to find almost same looking girls some more Vietnamese.

The area i stay here is some what like clark quay and geylang. There are lots of pubs outside my house area... and about 15 20min walk down is like geylang.. alot of ah gua and pros... while driving at night we can see them standing around waiting for customer. Some more the woman whom he brings normal stay for the night and leaves the next day.. so funny... i can not stop laughing... we noticed that once his Vietnam gf left him he became a little crazy... and now started to bring weird woman home.. i better keep an eye on my things!! who knows later they steal lol i'm off to do the laundry!

2008-10-20T08:29:00.003+08:00

BURP!!! Auww man... i'm like so full right now. I know it's kinda really late for breakfast but who cares!!! cause i just woke up not long ago. Once i woke up i showered zonda! and had breakfast.

I made myself scramble eggs, two sausages and three toasted bread with butter and sugar plus a cup of honey hahaha tell me whats fattening! Been craving really badly for toast bread with butter and sugar almost 2 days now! i ate like so many last night non stop! after eating obviously i fell asleep hehe.. oh oh not forgetting magnum ice cream!! i ate two yesterday too haha! It was darn bloody hot yesterday la! The sun was burning! omg i've been eating like a pig lately.. i'm always feeling hungry.

Currently addicted to p-money-everything also... lol! ahhhhhhhhhhh!!!! let me go crazy here before i go back! Sigh~ going back soon. Our flight is on the 12 of nov. Zonda will be going two days earlier then us. I don wanna go back!!!!!!!! I seriously am afraid of going back.

*Pooft~ off the make the 4th and 5th toast*

2008-10-17T09:42:00.000+08:00

It's officially a year today.

2008-10-15T10:47:00.003+08:00

OMG OMG OMG I SO LOVE LOVE LOVE THIS SONG!!! it's my fav song of the year! when it's playing in the car i'll skip! LOl!

Enjoy!

Zonda's hair got tangled up... so i decided to give him a hair cut myself but then he looked worst! and the tangles were still there.. so can't be help we brought him to the groomers! and this is how he looks like now! ppl are saying his too thin and looks like a cat.. HAHAHA! but zonda put on weight already...

FROM THIS....

TO THIS....

2008-10-11T09:57:00.015+08:00

We left auckland at 1am monday morning and drove 8 hour plus to Cape Reinga to see the sun rise at the light house. It's the end of the whole entire north land. We also went to see the famous 90 mile beach where tourist pay $350 to sit on the tour bus. The tour bus will drive at the speed of 100 along the beach. Our car can also go but our's not SUV or 4 wheel drive so i din wanna go later our car get stuck in the sand haha! On the way to the place kong na kept puking.. cause of all the bends and curves, i think we drove pass 100 over of them. I swear that driving to this place is fucking dangerous!!! the road is a killer... if you have no skill in driving please don drive there.

When we got there i seriously felt as if i was in heaven. There was the land, the mountains, the sea, the sky, the sun rise, the light house. Sitting such long hours was sure worth it!

I'll up load more pics on the light house and the 90mile beach when i've get them from kong na.

After seeing all that we wanted to go Pihia for sailing but then it was raining and too windy... so we couldn't go and drove another 8 hour plus home.

But no fear! cause we went yesterday!! hahaha drove back another 3 hour or 3 in a half hour i forgot how long to pihia, hubby drove so damn fast. As usual always drive wrong side of the road to over take other cars.

The weather was great yesterday. We stop at another island the famous island where cook 1st landed. Mike was happy to see us again and so were we! total 6 of us on the sail. Me,hub,hub's friend n his wife. Two Canadian girls my age were on board too.. so cool! we had the whole island and boat to ourselves. Mike's the owner of the boat.. he bought it at a wooping 260k price tag!!! and this is only his 1st his 2nd boat is a much smaller one for his wife.

I was the co captain for the day! cause i sailed the boat half the way! lol turning the boat was fun! the handle becomes heavy and the whole boat tilt one side hahahaha all so scared hahaha~! Everything was great! we stop next to the island and got off... pick up sea shells and ate FRESH OYSTERS! my hubby took the knife and knock them out haha! open eat open eat open eat. IT WAS SO FRESH AND SALTY!!! lol cause they don know how to eat... they din spit out the salt water. All complaining so salty.. hehehe only for me lol! I also picked up a sea shell that can be made into a necklace~ mike helped me make it and i gave it to hubby but doubt he'll wear it.

After getting back on the baot we had lunch, the view and everything was yes very very ROMANTIC again haha! din go for a swim this time cause so cold and windy! After lunch we headed to look for dolphins but this time no luck we din see them. So we stop somewhere for hub to do some fishing! and i just lay down and soak up the sun.

This is what i call lifestyle of the rich and famous! hahahahaha

Cape Reinga, the place was so windy i almost got blown away~

The famous 90mile beach.

We stop by this small town called kawa kawa really noting much there.

Pihia

Me driving the boat.

Hub pulling up the sail.

Hub took over awhile for me.

The legoon

lol~ candid! looking for oysters! but the gals din eat them..
The climb! i ran up so i sounded breathless..

Those are tea tree oil behide me. but dead ones lOl got green ones below.

The view from the top.

Adrena,Laureen and me.

The boat look so small here it's bigger and longer in real life!!

Mike and me.

Video shows us waiting for lunch hahaha! and the view i had.

2008-10-03T12:22:00.002+08:00

Curiously why are you so eager to get married fast? A really good friend of mine asked me this question a week ago.

Seriously speaking, it's cause I don wanna live alone. I kinda feel lost in the world right now. If my parents sell the house and move, i seriously don know who to follow. I'm like stuck in the middle like a beef patty. And yea i'm afraid. Afraid to be alone.

Since me and hub are already like coming 5th year and still so loving it's just the matter of time. I don have to get married to him yet really i just wanna live with him, be with him in the same country and can see each other any time we want instead of always not knowing and guessing when we can see each other again. But i can't do that cause we're not married and his family is so traditional.. only wife can enter the house.

I also don wanna live apart from him anymore! I'm like kinda tired.. cause when ever we're apart we always quarrel,fight,break and patch. I also hate those really bad missing feelings. It's only when we're together we hardly quarrel.. you can say so far from last year dec till now.. we had no major quarrels only one stupid argument and that's it. I hope to keep it this way.

I thought that the only way to be together is to get married. That's why i'm so eager to marry fast. And and and it's him!! HIM HIM HIM!! the only man i'm so freaking sure i want to call hubby for my whole entire life!!

Sad thing is he don wanna marry me! or yet. He told me say will marry before his 30 or when i'm like 23,24. Ok.. that's gonna be like another 2 to 3 year time.. I can handle that. I'll die die wait and stick to him like super duper glue!!

But he always disturb me... saying when he go back his country he don wan me anymore and wanna find other girl that's why i'm like so even more desperate to marry faster hahaha!

Oh well at the moment, i'll just cherish the time we have here.

2008-10-01T00:43:00.002+08:00

Just watch mama mia 5 mins ago lol~ love the show... i was smiling all the way haha! Anyway sat night was a bad one... hubs bro came from Melbourne the visit his gf here.. so he took our car and a drunk driver broke n dent our car mirror plus door OMG! damn bad night. The driver was drunk so his bro din dare to do anything to the ang mo, just took a photo of his license, car plate and phone number to settle the next day.

Been feeling really tired lately i don know why.. no matter how much i sleep i just feel so tired.. and my eyes are like kuang fu panda's now lol~ Heard from hub that next week we're going to the bay of island again haha i'm so happy! the last trip i went i saw a school of dolphins,penguin and that kinda bird that dive into the water from the sky.. i forgot the name.. we had lunch n tea on the boat, i snorkel and walk up the hill to see 360 degree of the whole pacific ocean! OMG it was breath taking and so ROMANTIC. But we din took our camera that time cause it was kinda last min so... we're going again! this time we're asking 4 more of our friends to join us hahah! LONG DRIVE AGAIN zzz.. i hate long car rides. This time i'm gonna bring my camera and take lots of pictures!!

Hub always last min... like the last time we went sky diving.... we were talking and i was watching tv suddenly he said lets go sky dive, then in an hour later we drove 4hour!!! to skydive zz!! n the last trip to bay of island also darn last min.. from sky diving we went to the I center to see wats there to do then he said lets drive to wangari lol from where we were to the location we wanna go was a wooping 8 hour drive!! but hub speed... so we got there at about 7hour lol drive up and down mountains so many curve and narrow turnings! so freaking dangerous somemore it was at night and the roads don have a single freaking lamp post! only had lights from our car. We almost hit two rabbits lol! I hope this time i get to do all the things all over agian.

Everything was simply romantic somebody tell me what honeymoon is? ;p

2008-09-26T13:37:00.004+08:00

SINGAPORE, Sept 25 - Big spenders in Singapore for the city state's first ever Formula One Grand Prix this weekend have boosted business for high-end social escort agencies by a fifth, a local paper reported on Thursday."This is the best weekend this year," Prince Wong, owner of Singapore Escort Services, told The Straits Times newspaper.Wong said he has received five bookings for the weekend -- including one for a local starlet at a fee of S$40,000 for six hours of work.Wong, who said his clients are foreign bosses in the gas and banking industries, declined to reveal the identity of both client and escort.Singapore is hosting the Formula One race in the hopes of boosting its tourism sector, although the enthusiasm has been partly dampened by the ongoing global financial turmoil.The race will also be held at night for the first time.The owner of The High Society Club agency expects business to be boosted by 75 per cent, while Singapore Model Escort is advertising on its website a 50 percent discounted "Singapore F1 GP Special offer", the Straits Times reported.The newspaper said the escort's job is to smile, entertain the client and his friends by making small talk and sometimes show the client around Singapore.The agencies said sexual services was not part of the deal but strictly between the escort and client to arrange, the Straits Times reported.Prostitution is legal in Singapore but soliciting is not.Agencies say their high-profile clients are picky about their escorts, asking for companions "from a good family background and at least a university degree", the Straits Times said."They want escorts who don't look, sound or dress like escorts. They want people to think, 'what a nice girlfriend he has'," it quoted an agency head as saying.

"The agencies said sexual services was not part of the deal but strictly between the escort and client to arrange, the Straits Times reported."

Woah~ 40k for 6 hours is damn good money.. it's more then some people annul income also. I'm just guessing who the actress is.. the gals doing this must be god damn pretty la.. but too bad.. they say escort have been given a bad name cause it don have to involve sex. But who knows rite.. what if customer wan sex and is willing to give more more money.. isn't it indirectly becoming high class prostitute?

Saw this at the new paper yesterday... some crazy rich guy whose only 37 and single sent his zonda S to Italy to repaint it pink at a wooping 150k price tag!! lol!!! I think his gay... at first i thought some rich guy bought it for his girlfriend or wife.. then i read it again and it stated SINGLE. lol~ just my thought.. anyway it's the S version.. I'm waiting for hub to get the F hahaha!!! hope he paints it candy pink for me hehehe (i'm dreaming).

2008-09-23T20:37:00.003+08:00

There was a blind girl who hated herself just because she was blind. She hated everyone, except her loving boyfriend. He was always there for her. She said that if she could only see the world, she would marry her boyfriend. One day, someone donated a pair of eyes to her and then she could see everything, including her boyfriend. Her boyfriend asked her, "now that you can see the world, will you marry me?" The girl was shocked when she saw that her boyfriend was blind too, and refused to marry him. Her boyfriend walked away in tears, and later wrote a letter to her saying..... "Just take care of my eyes dear." I'll always love you forever..

Found this in some forum, don know if this sad story is true... sounds like a drama. I guess these kinda guys are like dodo bird already and the girl don deserve the pair of eyes.. oh well just a post to emo emo abit haha. The story still touches my heart.

2008-09-21T14:54:00.003+08:00

Some of my Bday pics.

2008-09-19T11:03:00.004+08:00

Went to mo mo tea yesterday and had 3 glasses of bubble tea!! OMG had beef and lamb and BBQ chicken wings LOl! just like that the bill was 50bucks! OMG i must be eating like a piggy.

Anyway heres something i love listening to. It's always on the radio when we're in the car haha darn auwsome..

And this!!!! this is soooooooo good and funny~! enjoy~!

This is damn lame..

I seriously cant stop laughing now.. my jaws dropping.. hahaha!!

2008-09-17T21:44:00.012+08:00

Hub was out the whole morning till the afternoon out to buy food while i, the lazy piggy was home sleeping. Got up and got ready to go over to mao's place again for hot pot. This time, it was for my birthday! It was some what the same as my pre birthday celebration but this time with a cake. It's really fun and entertaining and the guys talk more then us ladies LOl!

Wanted to go to some expensive place for dinner with everyone but i said we'll just cele at mao's place. The feeling is more nicer.. as in more homely kinda feeling. And mao's also a five star restaurant chef hor!!! so it's even better hahaha! 5 star chef at your own place! LOl..

We had salmon sashimi,abalone is a must... and all the other kind of food... omg fish,crab,beef,lamb,mushroom you name it we have it lOl! I ate till i almost vomit and coulden get up from my seat can... so full yet i still force down two bowl of some kinda noodle they say birthday must eat wan.. ah ya i don know wats it, but canto style... my mum also got say before must eat that kinda noodle on birthdays.

I thought my birthday was gonna be a boring and unhappy one.. unlike in singapore where you either club or do other stuff and really have crazy fun.. but fortunately mine was somewhat a meaningful and happy one with a feeling of warmth even though it's just dinner.

On the way to mao's place. Look at the jam man~

Hub look so nerdy haha!

Mao's little baby. So adorable~ always call me jie jie~

AHAHA pls don think im nt wearing anything i'm wearing a tub dress. And also i'm proud to say that all my photos have not been photo shop or wat so ever... and i have no plastic or cosmetic done! LOl~

These two are candid haha~

I like this the most kinda cute... like kanna punch in da face.

Hub brought out the cake and i requested for a canto style too lol! since all of them are canto ppl i bet they should know how to sing! haha. I really thought that he din got me a cake cause i was not expecting to have one.

Will upload more photo when i get them.

2008-09-17T09:26:00.001+08:00

SG TIME: HAPPY BITRHDAY TO ME!!!!

2008-09-16T20:00:00.001+08:00

NZ TIME: HAPPY 21ST BIRTHDAY TO ME!!!!

2008-09-16T08:12:00.003+08:00

Once i opened my eyes this morning i've been feeling a sharp pain in my heart, emo. I guess it's cause from today onwards a year has pass me by. Thinking back during this time,date of last year i remember i was in a hell lot of confusion and sadness almost about everything. It's really sad thinking back of all that had happened. The pain is still so strong. I guess i still can't get over the fact. What if i did things differently back then.. how would my today be like? I guess everything happens for a reason.

Blame who? I can only blame myself. But for all the pain and sadness, i did learn something in life. I learned how to see people, I learned who are true. I know no matter of what will become of me next time, I know who will love me still, takes care of me when i'm ill, shower me with basically just about everything. I for one idiot had to learn and see this the hard way. But thankfully the pain and sadness are all the name of the past. It's just that all of the past suddenly swim into my head this morning making me feel this way, emo.
I feel like crying now really. I just feel so all alone and lost again. I hope all these are feelings that will be gone soon. If not i'll always live in memory of the past which i so do not want.

I've put up songs from 1 to 10 on my play list. All these songs have meaning to me. I listen to them when i'm in my lowest and highest spirit i'll call them my songs.

If only time can rewind itself. Then i can go back in time and change the future.

2008-09-15T12:17:00.001+08:00

Really emo now... really feeling it with the song playing on my blog by feist. Went to youtube trying to find her vid with this song but this was wat i found.. it's really nice n sad... EMO.

2008-09-14T11:05:00.003+08:00

Omg~ 21 in four days time~!!!
I'm so not excited cause i don wanna grow old~! haven't found a dress too and ever since 17 i've wish for the same thing every year. My birthday wish did came true and so i'm gonna keep wishing for the same thing over and over again till i grow white hair haha~. But for some reason i've been feeling really happy. Not because my birthday is around the corner but a feeling of blissfulness. I feel so lucky, I feel so contented, I just feel so blissful.... LOl and it's all because of you. I'm hoping it can stay this way forever.

More good years ahead!!!

2008-09-12T07:39:00.002+08:00

Had fun on Wednesday... Went for hot spring last min... hub never tell me that we're going.. hence i only slept 2 hours that day!!! He kept knocking on the door for so long and no body open, he thought that i had been kidnapped or rob or tie up by robbers or something. He almost wanted to bang the door down hahaha! I seriously din hear him knocking... i guess i was just too tired. It was really relaxing just socking myself in the hot hot hot spring water. After that we headed to mao's place for hot pot or steamboat as we call it back in singapore.. everyone was there!!! Ah yo.... i feel so old! cos his friends all so old... all have kids that are like wart 11 years to 16 year old !!! OMG... and all intro us as husband and wife to other ppl... i was like TIAO~!? lol they say not yet married don matter cause me and baby are already like a married couple. Basically all 3 married couple! Mao's lil girl is so cute!! 1 year plus only.. n her sister is 16! omg so big difference. Hear them talk in canto darn funny also... anyways the food was GOOD!!!! it's not like the once in singapore it's really their canto/china style!! hahaha anyway i just had a wonderful day.

Bday is coming soon and i've not gotten myself a dress!! OMG OMG OMG haizzzzzzzzzzzzzzz don know when got time to go shopping!

2008-09-03T10:29:00.010+08:00

The car has been fixed and collected, now it looks as if it's brand new again!! yay~

Me and hubby went for a hair cut yesterday haha love my hair now! lol~ Zonda went with us too of course. After our hair cut hub took away hungry jacks and we went to the harbour and had our dinner. While i was eating, a small fries drop onto his head so darn cute lor he try to shake shake shake the fries off trying to eat it but it was still on the middle of his head.. Too bad i din take photo.

I was so bored that day that i decided to do something crazy. I took 1 black liner,white liner,black shadow,four shades of different purple shadow,white glitter shadow,golden glitter shadow, and grey silver glitter basically all the make up i have here with me...... i just DUMP all of it to just my eye and i FOUND A SECRET TO LOOK PRETTY! like a model.. lol!!!

Ta da~!! i din put any foundation or etc... as the plan was to just play with the eye and see hows the outcome.. just comb and clip my hair only to make it look as if my fridge has grown so long hahaha!

Girls with make up is not enough i realize must put so thick until scared the make up can not finish then can look pretty lol! No needa go plastic surgery already hahaha!!!!!!

Took pics while i was typing in this entry... and this is how i look now fugly as usual..

Zonda is so cute can i feel like squeezing him till his eyes pop off haha!! the landlord thought that he was a rabbit that day zzz... so now his a dog,cat,rabbit,dog lOL!

2008-08-24T01:36:00.002+08:00

Ah FUCK! what was i thinking!? omg omg omg.... i had an accident this morning while vertical parking up the slope at queen street. The slope was darn steep la can't find any in Singapore.. Suppose to step on the brakes but i was too blur... i step on the oil peddle.. and then BANG!! into the BMW in front of me. Lucky there was no one around just a construction worker having his breakfast. His like 25 to 28 the most and he can't stop smiling and laughing.... I got out of the car and looked at the damaged done and smiled and show him a goofy shhh~~~ face and i faster drove off hahaha!! Omg omg omg.

Now my car bonnet can't be open and the grill penal plus chrome are damage... have to spend 1k to fix everything!! Omg omg omg~ mill din scold me, he just asked how i buang the car. And is not letting me drive for the time being till the car is fix. What i cant say is i'm still a little shock but mill scold me say i'm too daring already lol still wanna drive...

2008-08-22T02:54:00.004+08:00

Woo HOO~ On Wednesday they had the boobs on bike parade!! lOl Topless women sat on bikes and tanks and cars go round showing off their boobs.. so many people were there to watch lol!! Some loved it some against it. Oh well i found vids to show you peeps hehehe!!!

Zonda got his license and micro chip done and this years colour is blue!!! last year was yellow.. i bet his thinking phew~ i don have to wear that gay colour.. haha anyway~ his too small to even wear a coller yet look at the size of the tag!! Brought him to this Korean mini mart and the lady told me that his soo super tiny! she has one too and her's already 7 month but alot alot bigger!!

He looks like a rabbit..

Lol can't see his eyes

2008-08-17T21:46:00.003+08:00

I feel so relaxed right now. Went HOT SPRING!!! that day hahaha! So fun and my skin has become more smoother haha!! The weather was darn cold that day once i got out from the pool i was like in a freezer.. can't even walk without my sandals cause the floor was bloody cold...

Went shopping today!!! Headed to St Luke's to shop around for my birthday dress. Yes yes i know it's still early but my hands are itchy. Din see anything i like anyway. Decided to head to Queen st but it was raining so i went home and doze off. When i got up i went to Queen st with zonda haha! His so cute! while i was trying on clothing he waited in my bag for me in the changing room and din wonder about haha! I also hung him by the door where i hung all my cloths hahahahha!!!! When i was browsing in the shop he stuck his head out from my bag and when i was paying i put him on the counter everyone was like soooo cute.... either they thinks his a cat or a toy again....

The place was dark and smoky so the pic was kinda blur.

2008-08-13T03:40:00.010+08:00

I WAS RIGHT ALL ALONG!!

Lol a source said cristal went for botox in thailand that's why her face slim down so much. And like I saw it coming she and pat not even a year yet are no longer together. And like i told him before she only look for $$. I guess once she guessed she sucked up all his cash already it's time to find a richer one lol! I wonder if she did lipo and nose job along the way.

Before

Now

I'm wondering why so cheapo must go thailand do. Why not do in Mount E in singapore or japan or korea? Their way better then thailand. It's so dangerous doing there? Lots of people have aids there and even with the best doctor also kinda scary don know they got use new needle or clean the needle properly or not. I know the cheapest one is 400 bucks for 3 jap and lipo each area is 3.5k thats for the normal kind of doctor. For the best doctor the price will be double or triple. If i were to do i'd really wan to best doctor lol afraid of failed surgery.
I was browsing stomp when i came upon her pics and was like aiye? lOl notice her friends all kinda uncle prob cause she thinks their rich. Oh well rich guys are not stupid! and eeks their like almost coming twice her age... anyway.. LOL i can't stop laughing..

2008-08-09T22:58:00.003+08:00

Yes yes it's Singapore's birthday today. Caught up with a old friend of mine and woah we sure had lots to catch up. Can't stop typing on msn haha. We'll meet up once i'm back.

Anyway for my love for chocolates. These are few of the coolest funniest adds on tv. They never fail to make me smile/laugh. haha!

This is so fuwahaha like transformers.

Oh so cute squirrels haha~

This is another one from Jeep. Esp the part where the wolf ate the bird hahaha!

I notice that tv adds like to use animals these days.

2008-08-08T15:13:00.002+08:00

Today's 08/08/08~!!!!!!

Was thinking of getting married on this date last 2 years ago. And now we were (talking) bout 09/09/09. 08 is a lucky number but 09 means together long long long lOl~ it would be so meaningful to wed either these dates but oh well i can dream on. Besides the good date, it's also the Beijing Olympic opening ceremony today!Tomorrow is also Singapore's national day this time, i wont get to see fireworks. I think it should be the same as every year. So many good stuff happening in two days!

This year has been a really good year for me so far. Time feels as if it's passing me by so quickly this year. Soon, it will be 09 soon and i wonder what's install for me next.

Compare this year to last year? Last year was living hell. It feels as if I'm in heaven this year hahaha! Consider myself lucky I've got everything and everything i want. So~ 09, Here i come! ;p

2008-08-03T12:58:00.003+08:00

It has been raining non stop for the pass one in a half weeks. THERE'S A STORM IN NZ~!! beaches wash their wave to houses and floods the area. Rivers do the same too, winds blow off roof and houses including a tornado in sight, tress fall to the ground causing the soil in the ground to move.

Luckily i seldom go out. I only do so when i''m out to the supermarket these days if not i'd be blown away haha~ the wind is darn strong..

This is something you don see everyday. I saw this on the news and i was like woah~!
A guy caught a car almost get crush by a tree! OMG lucky kiwi..

And a little something to blast us back to the past.

2008-08-01T17:21:00.003+08:00

Some people can be like so dumb. She's like 2 years older then me and yet thinks like a teenager.. Omg talking to her just boils me each time when she ask me obvious stuff.
Take a look.

walkintoyourpaths says:
how are you doing
Been eating chocolates everyday!!! says:
geting fatter
Been eating chocolates everyday!!! says:
lol
walkintoyourpaths says:
haha really?
walkintoyourpaths says:
lols who ask u to keep eating?
Been eating chocolates everyday!!! says:
if don eat then do wat
walkintoyourpaths says:
hahahaha then do smth else lar
walkintoyourpaths says:
work?
Been eating chocolates everyday!!! says:
ant work
Been eating chocolates everyday!!! says:
cant
walkintoyourpaths says:
haha why dun wanna work
walkintoyourpaths says:
then u want ur guy to support u only?
Been eating chocolates everyday!!! says:
i cant work
Been eating chocolates everyday!!! says:
nt don wanna work
walkintoyourpaths says:
haha why can't work?
Been eating chocolates everyday!!! says:
ever thought that i don have a work permit?

walkintoyourpaths says:
haha eh then can get one?
Been eating chocolates everyday!!! says:
u think so easy?
walkintoyourpaths says:
haha eh why not?
Been eating chocolates everyday!!! says:
u need a job 1st?
walkintoyourpaths says:
ok then?
Been eating chocolates everyday!!! says:
n im here on a visitor dependent visa
walkintoyourpaths says:
oh okies
Been eating chocolates everyday!!! says:
im nt allowed to get a job
walkintoyourpaths says:
really?
Been eating chocolates everyday!!! says:
duh
Been eating chocolates everyday!!! says:
n its not easy to get a job here
walkintoyourpaths says:
oh ok didn't know that
Been eating chocolates everyday!!! says:
its so troublesome
Been eating chocolates everyday!!! says:
u need a job to apply visa
walkintoyourpaths says:
oh okies ya true also
Been eating chocolates everyday!!! says:
but normally company wan ppl who already have a permit to apply for their job
walkintoyourpaths says:
oh okies.
Been eating chocolates everyday!!! says:
i cant easily apply for a work permit 1st cause i'm nt 21 yet?

Been eating chocolates everyday!!! says:
n they wan those ppl like cheif or HIGH certs with jobs that people aare lack at here
Been eating chocolates everyday!!! says:
u think its so easy?
walkintoyourpaths says:
ya lor true.
walkintoyourpaths says:
then too bad lor
walkintoyourpaths says:
lols
walkintoyourpaths says:
L
Been eating chocolates everyday!!! says:
yeah so u still ask me work
Been eating chocolates everyday!!! says:
sheesh~
Been eating chocolates everyday!!! says:
obviously my bf have to suport me
Been eating chocolates everyday!!! says:
if not i by now in the coffin already die from hunger
walkintoyourpaths says:
hahahahaha all the life?
Been eating chocolates everyday!!! says:
if can y not?
Been eating chocolates everyday!!! says:
don work yet still got money in the bank got money holiday n shop house n car
Been eating chocolates everyday!!! says:
Y not?
Been eating chocolates everyday!!! says:
if u have such thing don tell me u don wan

And then she left speechless.

2008-07-30T10:28:00.003+08:00

I'm BORED that's why i started reading things that are not important. Notice i've added a random read on the right hand corner? I'v been reading people's blog. Their all pretty. But 4 out of 6 have had gone thru few plastic before. They have the $$ to do so. But i always wonder what will happen to the silicon inside them when they age. Cause i wanna get plastic too! but then come to think about it. If i'm born out this way looking so fugly then so be it. Hub say's his annoyed by me always asking to go have plastic HAHA~ Well, if he stops telling me or saying i'm ugly each and every single day, i'll probably wont always bug him bout getting plastic done or even think bout it.

Friends~ Who are friends that are ment to be kept.

2008-07-28T07:06:00.009+08:00

Friends friends friends... friends who will stay and friends who will go. I'd rather only have those truthful ones who will stay and grow older together. Those back stabbing fucking lier can kiss their fucking asses good bye. Then there are also those hi,bye kind of friends whom you make while out partying or etc.. There are those whom you spoke too before and then forget their faces when your out somewhere and bump into them.

Me, cristal and pat. In this pic i look so thin thanks to hub for breaking with me that time.. haha ok These are the FRIENDS who can kiss their own asses good bye thanks to me they found each other. Cristal was my secondary classmate and thanks to me she knew my so call use to be buddie pat. But ever since some rough time i HATE THIS COUPLE TO THE CORE! she irritates the shit outta me and boils me when i see her face. she's the angel rubbish mouth spout er. While pat is a hypocrite before he knew he could have her he kept saying she's fat and was only playing with her feelings etc to everyone. Well after a year together she sure lost alot of weight thanks to their no life still every week partying at night one meal a day or maybe he paid for her botox or lipo suckers not forgeting a coming 40 year old man having sex with a coming 21 year girl? I can't imagine. Self employed? yeah go thailand holiday buy cheap stuff open online blog and sell it to people with pat giving her allowance money to spend every month. And when pat and me were still buddies, we had dinner with charmaine,her bf, gordan and vivi. He told everyone loudly that he would not fall for her who only wans his money and look at him now haha. So good luck to him in supporting this sweet heart. Wait till she ask you for a apartment!

Me and Vivi. The come and go friend. Use to always party with her and got along well. But like i said, come and go friend? So she's gone. I don know where the hell she is or even care.

Me opes i forgot her name and Alicia. I got to know her from alicia. Maybe i bump into her in town but don even recognize her. But as for Alicia she's the kind that's ment to be kept. But we are both busy with our lives to meet.

Wen,Xiue,Me,Fen this picture was taken during my 19th birthday at clark quay. We seldom meet or you can say don meet at all but the days we use to spent together always stay in our memory and all made efforts to have a simple dinner on my day. These are the once that are ment to be kept. Though we don meet so often already we still talk online!! haha These are the ones that i call FRIENDS!

2008-07-27T16:36:00.003+08:00

I pity the ducks, why? cause i've killed 2 and their in my tummy now. I've been eating BBQ duck since yesterday till today. Bought the whole duck yesterday and it was so tasty that I wanted to buy one more today. We then decided to buy a whole BBQ duck for ben and his wife as we were somewhere near by their place. Visited them for like 30mins, we were chatting away non stop. HAHA Ben thought that zonda was a toy when he 1st saw him and his wife thought zonda was a cat! haha Poor thing everyone mistook him.

It's been just a few months back since we last saw them and oh boy~~ their son is so big now!!! and his only 4month plus old. Few months back when he was just 1 month plus he was so tiny and now woah~ grow so fast. I can't imagine how fast mine will grow in the future. Ben and his son totally look alike... put them next to each other and omg their like the SAME!! just one younger and smaller and the other one older and bigger.

2008-07-26T13:19:00.003+08:00

AH!!!! I fucking can't stand myself!! I'm so FUGLY!!!!! USELESS!!!!! and DUMB!!!!!

Phew~ just had to let go. Anyway there's a new hit in town!!! LOl this is New Zealand's current most HOTTEST song/tv ad !!!! Kinda cool haha~

2008-07-25T10:15:00.005+08:00

Sometimes i feel that i'm not important to anyone. In fact, I always feel like i'm not important at all. I'm feeling so down and lousy now. The whole morning hub keep scolding me for the things i do. Everything i do is wrong. And i just keep quite and let him scold me and say i'm ugly. I feel like giving up really. Then no more bf's for my whole entire life!

-Hurt-

2008-07-21T22:08:00.015+08:00

I've caught a slight flu during the weekend... zzz. Sold ah pui to this lovely couple also and they did came back to visit zonda. Yes we've name ah san zonda instead of lambo haha. His small and runs really fast. So far zonda is still really tiny. When he was 6 weeks old he looked as if he was still 5weeks old. Now, at almost 10weeks old he looks like his less then 8 weeks old. OMG his sooo cute and tiny! the smallest Maltese i've ever met! And i treat him as if he was my real baby!!!

Anyway here are some random pics taken yesterday. Zonda pee pee on me while waiting for hub in the car!! Now both Beemers have dog pee~!!

Early morning puffer fish without make up.

Enjoying the sun and it's time for hub to get a hair cut!

Was enjoying the sun when it started raining..

Going rounds in the city.

Zonda sleeping with his toy.

Zonda in his bed.

Sleeping with his rabbit.

Yep! We bring him everywhere we go! And everyone thought that his a cat! are they blind??? lOl at the pet shop this lady thought zonda was a cat and i replied her it's a puppy. At the supermarket i heard two Chinese lady debating saying it's a cat, the other one replied no it's a dog, no it's a cat, no it's a dog .... -.-'

2008-07-14T21:12:00.005+08:00

We decided who is to be sold. The fatter one(ah pui) will be sold. Ah san fell ill that day and had to be hospitalized put on drip(so poor thing). His so darn small for a 8 week old boy. I showered ah pui this morning and he looks so fluffy now. I bet he enjoyed his first ever bath!!

Pics of ah pui taken once he just showered.

Anyway hub's brother will be leaving for Melbourne this Wednesday. It's weird.. cause his brother wants to go there to study instead of staying here in nz. It's much more faster here and he has his gf here. He told his gf that his dad asked him to go there to help his sister in their business instead. It's so weird if hub were to tell me this way i'd be so pissed. Lucky hub tells me everything. I don understand why he wont just tell his gf truthfully that he wants to go there to study. Sigh~ anyway it's their problem and not mine.

Got my passport back this morning!! great news!! i've got my visa! hehehe after a month long of waiting sheesh~ i thought that i might get rejected.

Noting much lately. Been home rotting hehe~

2008-07-07T19:45:00.005+08:00

I'm bored!!!! everyday talk to the pups become mad! haha! anyway here's some Khmer stuff i like. Can't imagine how am i gonna learn how to speak their language.. the book i bought isn't helping also zzz...

She's so pretty...

Thai and Khmer girls are sooo soo pretty.. Don know why my hub wan(me) this stupid fugly singaporean.

2008-07-05T03:01:00.005+08:00

I now know how students studying overseas alone feel. BORING! and LONELY!

Been eating and eating once i get up from bed these days and it's gonna be like this till hub gets back. It's so hard to sleep at night when his not around. It's so cold and i feel as if somethings missing. No one to hug, no hub's body heat = can not sleep. Plus the two children keep waking up at 3am singapore time everyday crying for food. After that they will wake up at 1pm Nz time and then at night again. Now i know why they say when you have a new born child it's really tiring waking up at night attending to their cries.

Was down on my luck last night! Went to the supermarket and i was the only one driving along that road. The police car on the other side must be too free or bored also that he turned around and stop me. Told me was normal routine check and asked if i had a few drinks or two. I said no and he asked for my license. Then, he asked how many times i've been here, i replied 7 or 8 times. Then he asked how long have i been here, i replied him more then 3 months and my passport is with the immigration extending my visa. He called up and check afraid that i might be staying here illegally. So dao mei first time kanna stop by police. Do i look like i had been drinking? I was even wearing my PJ's argh... waste my time only. i'll never drive on a Thursday night again so ma fun. All the people here starts partying till sunday morning...

Anyway i've finally dye my hair black!!! after 4 years of having light blond hair!! I'm sick of that bright hair colour of mine and decided to change my look haha! I totally look as if i'm back in primary and secondary school can~ I should look more young and innocent now hahaha! My bright blond hair totally damaged my hair.. it becomes so dry because of my always changing hair colour. Now it wont look so bad.

Anyway i found two photos taken last year September time. SO MUCH HAS CHANGE!

How i used to look while partying.

me,pat and herbie

Elliot,me n herbie

Rochelle and me

I look so totally different now right! I cant believed that i use to be an alcoholic and a heavy clubber out having fun so havoc . Will be always out parting on Mon,Wed,Thur,Fri,Sat and sun drinking and dancing every night!!! If i don drink something it'll feel so weird. And i don know why people need to go rehab for when you can stop everything by your own determination.

It's almost been a year now since i last went into a club and had alcohol. Obviously you can see the weight i've gain also haha thanks to hub i'm all chubby up.

2008-07-02T17:29:00.002+08:00

Most people always blog bout what they did today, posting lots of pictures of where they went,what they had for food, what they bought and lots of pics of themselve with friends. Mine is more of a boring personal kind. Where i brag and nag about how I feel and it's mostly words and little pictures. I realize that most of my post this year have been mostly about money issue. Comparing to last year, my ups and downs this year were family and financial wise. Last year was all about bad relationships.. I hope things will get well soon.

Hub left for Melbourne this afternoon in a rush. His sister last minute call him fly there to help them with their immigration. As they just migrated there, and they hardly know the place and can speak little english. Hub's gonna help them with their bank accounts and to find a house for them to rent at the moment. At the main time, their currently staying at a hotel which cost
$170 a night!!! OMG so expensive.. Hub will only be back on the 10th. Which means i'll be all alone at home with the two fur ball. Hub asked if I wanted to go gold coast for holiday or not but i don wanna go. Don have the mood at the moment and the price is like $@#% high. Just to fly to Melbourne and back here already cost $890 per person just for the air fare... sheesh! I realize how nice and fun it is when you have the money to do and go places you wanna go anywhere anytime.

Truth is, I wanna go! then i'll get to go Warner Brothers movie world, Sea world, pet the koala bear and etc... But i don wanna spend so much money... haiz.......

I'm not that kind of tipical singaporean where is out to suck their bf pocket dry. I take his money as my money thats why i can't bare to spend it. If i were to be just like most of the girls that i know then i wouldn't mine haha! i'll ask to tour the whole of europ instead. Or maybe ask him to give me $ go las vagas again muahaha!

Hub ownself say if I really wanna suck him dry, I alone can spend more then 10k a month just on cloths and food or maybe 10k also not enough. No branded cloths or branded bags. I would not spend more then 80 on a shirt, would not spend more then 100 on a dress and 100 on jeans. So imagine how much i shop haha! Most of my shirts now are below 45, dress below 80, jeans only 60 bucks haha! If i were to be a branded freak then hub is gonna worry more haha~ I'd splurge 2k for a skirt, 3k for a shirt, 5k for a dress. Not forgetting shoes etc hahaha!

It's cause i know myself. I tend to wear cloths awhile and stop wearing. So as long as their nice and cheap i'd wear them hehee.
Anyway i'll be home alone all week = SIANZ....

2008-06-30T20:14:00.004+08:00

Just as things were going great full stop. Let me think where to start.

Chatted with mum on the msn last night, she then told me that one of her friend whom she always go to the market and drink coffee with, whose daughter studied the same primary school as me has just graduated from poly, and that her friends daughter wanna continue further her studies in uni so that she can find a good paying job next time. This was where it all started and our conversation in msn was something like this.

Mum: How about you? when you going to study? you don study then what are you going to do next time?

Me: Work la~! People got money what, No money study what?

Mum: Work and study like what your cousin did.

Me: How?

Mum: I don know la you ask him how he did it.

Me: Take loan la~ then repay the debt slowly like mad. Then how to work full time job and study at the same time? work from 10.30am to 6.30pm then study at night a few hour study what so tired. Then where to get the money to study? if study then where do i get the money to eat?! you and papa never think for my further never save money for my school fee just spend and spend.

Mum: Who say. last time i pay for you the school fee 3k you never study i am very angry with you.

Me: Some people parents got money to pay, their kid can not pass, fail so many time can retake and retest everything a few time few hundred few thousands till finally pass. Only 3thousand you already complain so expensive then how are you going to pay for my poly or uni? Poly already cost around 12k while uni 20plus thousand. Some more i this type can not study wan study = donation to the school.

Mum: Talk so big then you repay me back 3k la!

Me: I work la will repay you back your 3k!

Mum: At less you work here got money can take CPF pay for the house.

Me: Buy what house? Not married can not buy HDB flat. I only 21 this year how to buy flat? can only buy condo. And where to get money buy condo ah?

Me: I know la you not happy you see people daughter can study and graduate wear the uniform your own daughter can not.

Mum: Ah ya i don wan to talk to you anymore next time i die already you ownself i don know anything. I go sleep already.bye!

Me: Ya la next time you and papa not here also i ownself take care of ownself.

While talking with mum about this hub was sleeping and heard me cry... he then woke up and ask me what happen.. i read to him what was the conversation about and he was kinda pissed with my mum. Cause every year sure got a few time quarrel about this topic. He ask me to live with my dad since he see me so stress with my mum. But the truth is.. i don know where to go.

I feel that it's a parent job to prepare money for kids school needs. For what i feel study is study work is work. As for my cousin i know my uncle and auntie got give him money to eat. As for me? I wait for money drop down from the sky huh? or eat grass. If i had a child.. i would wanna prepare money for their every school fee so they wont be stuck like me. Sigh~ I feel so lost.

Mum always like to compare me with other people daughter see how smart they are to can have a degree from uni. Besides it's so commen to have a degree these days. Why don she compare other people daughter bf! Why don she compare who more lucky to have a good bf! Why don she compare i only 16 got 1st diamond ring at 17 it became bigger at 19 i got 1.07 carat at 20 i got 2.06 carat and another 1carat diamond. Why don she compare if I and hub were to really be married already i can become real tai tai! ARGH SO ANGRY AND YET SAD haiz!!! at less I'm stupid but lucky enough to have found a rich man son who's smart,love me so dearly! and is able to do business to provide for family! ARGH I'M SOOOOOO PISSED!

She did ask me to ask hub to pay for my school fee before but i feel that it's not hub's job to do so i feel that it should be a parent job. And as for the house? It's also a parents job! I'm only freaking 20!! what the hell is a 20 year old girl to do????

I can't wait to get married to hub not because of money. But because i can start and have a place and family to call my own!

2008-06-28T19:09:00.003+08:00

Oh my god~! Their so freaking cute! Hub just asked the person to cargo the pups here yesterday... we were lazy to fly up. Went to the airport to pick the pups up this afternoon and i din expect them to be so tiny! The funniest was that they took Air New Zealand hahaha!
Gonna bring them to the vet tomorrow. Funny thing is one of them the is a lilttle bigger. His fur is longer also the smaller one fur is shorter.. now the problem is i don know which to keep.

Pics i took just now.

Me and them(have not name them yet) On the left hand side is the pup on right hand side in their 4week old photo. so I guess you all know which is which haha.

Playing around when they just got home.

Dinner time!!

Catch me if you can!

auww~

Nap time.

2008-06-25T15:56:00.002+08:00

Yay~ the pups are ready for pick up! at less somethings good is looking my way.

Well i just wanna thank my hub for everything he did and gave me. He took care of me each time i was sick and not forgetting the 2 weeks 24/7 when i was on the hospitail bed. He cook for me and gave me unconditional love. Without him i would be notting now. Since 16 i stop getting allowance from parents and he was the one giving me everything. 30 percent of the money in my wallet are from him, 97 percent of the cloths in my cuppboard were bought by him and etc.. all my traveling are also sponsered by him. And me now not working.. basically everything is from hub.

I'm only just worried bout my family thats why i am so stress up. I mean yeah.. it's his duty to take care of me now but not my family... we're not married yet.. it's my duty to take care of them.. which is why i am angry with myself for not being capable enough. Why did i mention that the worlds not fair in the previous post was cause... the rich are really getting richer while the poor are getting poorer. Example; A rich person would be so lucky enough to win lotto when his already rich enough. While those poor people who wanna try their luck end up wasting their money in hope for dreams to come true. haiz~ i'm just ranting out all my anger here.... . So friends, if your reading this just take it as crap.

2008-06-23T19:31:00.002+08:00

Sigh~ I was unhappy that day and we had a huge quarrel on saturday night while on our way to pick up siang and nat to have ice cream. I could'nt control my temper and just blew up. Hub then chase me out of the car! but before he stop the car, siang and nat appeared infront of us. So.. to not let them know we just quarreled i got out of the car and let them both in. I climb behind and sat with nat. I wasn't happy at all. But hub talk to me when we got to the ice cream shop. I went with the flow and we were ok again. Headed to the casino as well as they wanted to play abit. Hub asked me what if he really chase me out what will i do? I replied.. WALK HOME LA! But were both happy and loving again.

Why was i unhappy was cause this worlds not fair! And that night, lots of serious stuff were swimming in my head which left me not being able to sleep peacefully. Wondering what will happen when my parents sell the house. Where will i be living? where will my dad be living? I know mum is gonna buy a 3 room flat which will then be transferred to my name, and then i'll have to pay installments for the house every month. I'm only 20~!!! i have no qualification and it's F*****G hard to get a high paying job in singapore without that stupid piece of paper. But am able to get a normal average income though(like what? 1.2 to 1.5k a month? i'll die from paying bills and housing loan).

Haiz... so sickening.... i'm the only child!! what will happen to me when my parents are gone? I'll be all alone in this mess up place. Mum's already coming 60, dad's coming 70! HAIZ!!!!! I wish i was older. Maybe if i were older i'd be 30 now and have qualification(since school fee were not that expensive back then), have a high paying job, be married and have a place of my own with my family and still be able to support mum and dad. Then we all wont need to suffer. Their already so old and mum still has to work while others become grandmothers relaxing at home already. HAIZ! I hate seeing this and i can't do anything. What i'm planning now is to acutely go back and get a permanent job and then work part time on my off days as well. Since i can't be with hub everyday soon, it's best to keep myself as busy as possible and make the most i can when i'm back. Sigh! this is why girls are out to hunt for rich guys.. haiz!! I hate being me~! So dumb,fugly and useless..

2008-06-18T17:48:00.010+08:00

It's been wonderful these days. I miss miles doggy smile though haha~ hub says i'm mad... but no fear~ my sweets gonna get me not one, But two! pups!! He still went looking around for pups even though i already told him to stop.

Their brothers and are only 4 weeks old now. This is their current photo of them. But we are only gonna keep one and bring him home to singapore. Cause hub ask me which pup i wan and they both look the same to me. I don know which one i wan. And their location is in Christchurch which makes it hard for us to go down see them. So in the end i said buy both haha! i told hub to buy both then see which one i want and then we will sell one away. I'm only afraid when it's time to sell one i'll start crying again.

Anyway we'll have to wait till the 29th of this month when their 6 weeks old. Then either me or hub will fly down to Christchurch to pick the pups up and fly back to AKL. So mafun hor~ haiz expensive pups! But worth it hhaha dogs here are so clean!

We had movie marathon that day too.. We watch three movies straight in a row! 1st was Kuang Fu Panda!! SOOO FUNNY! esp the master!! his so cute!!! 2nd was Don mess with the Zohan!! I think that the movie was funny but gross... YUCK! i almost puke watching it. 3rd one was my favourite narnia!!!! i expected the river to be much wider though... but i must say i love the 1st and 2nd movie and their soundtracks . argh I'm such a big fan of narnia! hahah!

Anyway hubs bro gf came AKL from wellington that day and we had supper together last night. I still cant talk to her properly cause her chinese is so chim! and i can't understand her english or she can't understand mine~ lol. Hub ask her help us buy the doggy hoddie from wellington and send it to us. so cute lor buay ta han!

Anyway here's a song from a korean drama i love so much. I've been listening to it the whole entire day.. It's super romantica! I've put up the english version and a korean one as well. But i prefer the english version cause i guess... we all can understand the lyrics!! and it says so much about how i feel for hubby. so enjoy~!

2008-06-13T20:59:00.002+08:00

It's my third night tonight not sleeping.. I keep getting up to eat then go back to bed tossing and turning. I feel so worried and I miss miles... haha hub says that i'm like a little girl. When wan to break up with him he say i always ask him go away and never cry. He say i miss him also never cry for him. But for a dog i cry and cry and can not sleep. Haha~ who say so.. i cry so much for him he also don know lo...

Hub have been searching the whole entire NZ for another nice puppy for me. When i kept crying he said he will buy me one more then we will confirm bring back to sg. But i said no point. If wan to bring i'll also only wan to bring miles back. I rather go back singapore and buy cause the price to bring him home is way too much. But he said he don mine spending that amount for me. But i said sell. Thats why we sold miles. Who knows that fucker say he can not take care of him well. Now, I don even know where miles is.
I can tell hub really wanna get me one more cause he kept ringging up so many people asking about the puppy etc.. until i told him to stop. Then he din call. I told him nvm we go back then buy.

If i were to be those girls who only wan to spend most of their boyfriend money then i'll confirm say don sell miles in the 1st place. Hub would spend any amount on me. But i wan to save as much as posible. Money is not easy to come by. Can save, save.